Pregnancy brings advice from everyone: mothers, mothers-in-law, neighbours, the maid, the taxi driver. Much of it comes from love, and a lot of it is harmless or even sensible. A few beliefs, though, can put the mother or baby at risk. Here is a gentle sort of what is fine, what is unproven but harmless, and what can be harmful.
Beliefs that can be harmful
"Do not take the iron and calcium tablets, the baby will grow too big."
Iron and folic acid tablets do not make the baby big. They prevent anaemia, which is very common in Indian women and raises the risk of tiredness, early birth, low birth weight and heavy bleeding. India's health ministry gives iron and folic acid tablets for the whole pregnancy and after. If a tablet upsets your stomach, tell your doctor. There are other forms and timings, so please don't just stop.
"Eating for two: eat everything, especially ghee and sweets."
You need a little more food, not double. Most guidance suggests only a modest increase in the second and third trimesters. Overeating can lead to excess weight gain, gestational diabetes and a harder delivery. Aim for regular, varied meals with dal, vegetables, fruit, milk or curd, and protein, and ask your doctor about your own weight gain.
"Hot foods will cause a miscarriage" (papaya, sesame, dates, pineapple and others).
Families often sort foods into "hot" and "cold". This is tradition, and there is no proof that moderate amounts of these foods cause miscarriage. The exception is raw or unripe papaya, which many doctors advise avoiding. Ripe papaya in normal amounts is generally considered fine. Rather than cutting out whole food groups, eat a balanced diet and ask your doctor if you are unsure. Strict "hot and cold" rules can leave a mother short of nutrients.
"Don't go to the doctor until the fifth month," or "only a dai can handle a normal delivery."
Antenatal visits catch problems that have no symptoms, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, anaemia, a low-lying placenta or a baby that is not growing well. The health ministry advises at least four check-ups, and doctors usually advise more. Plan to deliver in a hospital or a well-equipped centre with trained staff. Most deaths from bleeding, high blood pressure or a difficult birth can be prevented by quick care, and a home delivery cannot give that.
"Home remedies or herbs for pain, fever or to induce labour."
Some herbs and "churan" are unsafe in pregnancy. Do not use herbal pills, kadha in large amounts, castor oil, or any medicine from a neighbour or a chemist without asking your doctor first. Never start labour at home with a remedy.
"Check the baby's sex, or a particular food or ritual will give you a boy."
No food, ritual or belly shape decides a baby's sex. Finding out the sex of a baby before birth is also illegal in India under the PCPNDT Act, and doctors cannot tell you. The baby's health matters, not the gender.
Beliefs that are unproven but usually harmless
- Saffron in milk will make the baby fair. It will not. A baby's skin colour comes from the parents' genes. Saffron in small amounts is fine as a treat, but it will not change the baby, and a fair-skin belief can hurt a daughter later.
- Keeping the news quiet for the first 3 months. Harmless, if it does not delay your first doctor's visit.
- Black thread, nazar tika, or a talisman. Harmless to wear, as long as it never replaces a check-up.
- Not going to funerals or visiting certain places. It is a matter of comfort. If something upsets you, skip it.
Beliefs that are simply untrue
- Solar or lunar eclipse will cause a cleft lip or birthmarks. There is no medical evidence that an eclipse harms an unborn baby. You do not need to stay indoors, stay still, avoid cutting vegetables or use a knife-and-pin ritual. Looking at the sun directly during an eclipse can damage anyone's eyes, which is a good reason to stay away from it for your own sake.
- Do not lift your arms, or the cord will wrap around the neck. Raising your arms to hang clothes does not cause this, and cord around the neck is common and usually handled safely at birth.
- Do not sit cross-legged, or exercise, or walk much. Gentle activity such as walking is good for most pregnancies. Your doctor will tell you what to avoid if there is a risk.
- Do not have sex. For most healthy pregnancies it is safe. Ask your doctor, especially if you have bleeding, a low-lying placenta or a history of early labour.
- Do not travel at all. Short, comfortable trips are fine for many mothers. Ask your doctor about long trips, flying or very rough roads.
- The shape of the bump shows the sex. It shows the baby's position and your build.
When to call your doctor, whatever anyone says
Do not wait if you have bleeding, leaking fluid, severe belly pain, a bad headache with blurred vision, swelling of the face and hands, fever, or if the baby moves much less than usual. Going early is never wrong.
Next in this series: newborn care myths and myths for new mothers. Our week-by-week pregnancy guide has more on each stage.